I was diagnosed with breast cancer on August 3rd, 2018. I've never had to write anything like this and I've already given away the punch line, so let's back up to the beginning of the story.
In mid-May I felt a bump in my right breast that I just simply hadn't noticed before. Ever since college, where each dorm shower stall had a diagram showing how to self-inspect your breasts, I've done regular self-checks. I did research online and found out that the majority of lumps in women are harmless cysts that come and go with hormones. No big deal. It'll go away on its own. Six weeks later (and a full hormone cycle come and gone) the lump was still there, so I saw my GP who sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound was able to tell us that the lump was not a cyst (fluid-filled) but a solid mass. I was told that it was most likely a non-cancerous tumor called a fibroadenoma.
Here's my first ultrasound. The dark area is the solid mass.
The radiologist even wrote "prob fibroadenoma" on the ultrasound report that was then sent to a surgeon who took a needle core biopsy on July 31st.
As I lay on the table, watching the ultrasound screen as a needle probed and took samples of the lump in my numbed breast, I had one resounding thought, "This is surreal. This is not happening to me." The surgeon had asked Shaw to leave the room and I was alone with her and her nurse. That moment is haunting. Get this thing out of my body. Whatever it is I want it out.
As a 28 year old woman, my chances of developing breast cancer are extremely low. A woman's lifetime risk of developing breast cancer is 12.4%, about 1 in 8 women. At 30 years old women have a 0.5% chance of getting breast cancer in the next 10 years. There are many factors that increase your chances of developing breast cancer - everything from your age at your first period to your height. The factor that everyone is paying special attention to is the fact that my maternal grandmother was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer at 40. This family history could prove to be a significant piece to the puzzle.
The results of the needle core biopsy came to me in an email on the morning of August 3rd around 11:30am while I was at work.
In the week since diagnosis I have spent hours on end researching cancer and talking about cancer. Waking up every morning thinking this bad dream is finally over. Crying. Floating in and out of doctors' offices. I have met with surgeons, a geneticist, a nurse navigator, a fertility specialist, and an OB/GYN. Hearing 60% of what they say if I'm lucky.
What we know about my cancer so far from my pathology report:
- Invasive ductal carinoma (80% of breast cancer starts in the ducts like mine did - invasive means the cancer has now broken out beyond the ducts into other breast area)
- Nottingham grade 1 of 3 (low number is better, means the cells look more normal than not)
- Estrogen and Progesterone receptor positive (this is good and means that my hormones are part of what is feeding the cancer cells. Hormone therapy can block the cancer from receiving my body's natural hormones, essentially starving it)
- HER-2/neu studies pending (we want this to be negative to avoid chemo)
We are anxiously waiting 2 important test results: HER-2 and the genetic report that will contain information about the BRCA gene mutation. These two results will determine my treatment and what combination of surgery, radiation, chemo, and hormone therapy I will need to have. We will have both results within the week and we are anticipating treatment starting within 6 weeks.
In the meantime, I still feel great physically. I'm exercising almost every day, going to yoga, riding my bike, and have committed to eating 85% vegan and whole foods (give myself flexibility of 3 "cheat" meals per week). My goal is to be in very good shape before treatment so that my body will rock recovery.
In the face of the uncertainty of my next step I have so much confidence. I have confidence in my new surgeon. I have confidence in my understanding of each potential treatment. I know my husband's love for me is unwavering. I feel the love from our family and friends near and far. And I know that although breast cancer is now part of my story it will not define my story. It will all be okay.
Shaw and I will do our best to send regular updates, and your texts and calls are welcome. It's a gift to know that we're in your thoughts.
With all my love,
Jessie
P.S. If you're like me and immediately looked up every term in the pathology report on the internet...beware. Resources are abundant but not necessarily current or written in an understandable way. I recommend reading Breasts: The Owner's Manual by Dr. Kristi Funk. I'm proud to say she will be my surgeon. Her book was published this year and has the most up-to-date information about reducing cancer risk, making treatment choices, and optimizing outcomes.
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